How About a Little Name That Tune?

While you're waiting for my next exciting writer-related blogpost, how about playing a little Name That Tune? Here are the lyrics, you just need to name the song and performer. These songs range from the 1960's to the 2000's. Two of them have two answers (the original and cover versions). Name them both for extra points! And no using Google. That's too easy!

1. They told me, when I was younger, they said, Boy, you’re gonna be president
2. Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start
3. And you can act real rude and totally removed and I can act like an imbecile
4. It’s not the perfume that you wear, it’s not the ribbons in your hair
5. No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low
6. Some silicone sister with her manager’s mister told me I got what it takes
7. When the kids had killed the man, I had to break up the band
8. This is for the ones who stood their ground
9. What if all these fantasies come flailing around
10. It’s obvious you hate me, though I’ve done nothing wrong
11. I’m gonna exorcise the demons of my past
12. You float like a feather in a beautiful world
13. All my friends are skeletons, they beat the rhythm with their bones
14. Well, my heart knows me better than I know myself
15. Well, it’s late and I want love, love that’s gonna break me in two
16. No changes are permanent, but change is
17. Bye, bye, it’s been a sweet love
18. Sick at heart and lonely, deep in dark despair
19. I played a divorcee in New York City
20. I felt so good, like anything was possible

Benefit Fundraiser Poetry Reading

Wednesday night, August 3rd, at La Vie En Rose Bakery & Cafe, I'll be taking part in a poetry benefit to raise money for Laura Adams who's been diagnosed with AML, a rare form of Leukemia.

To help the Adams' family with the sudden and unexpected medical costs they are facing, her neighbors and friends have organized this exciting fundraising event.

Bring your own wine and enjoy complimentary cheese and crackers as an accompaniment. Coffees, teas and delectable desserts will be available for purchase, with 50% of all sales donated
directly to the Adams family!

The cafe is located at 10 Prospect St. in Waldwick, NJ and their phone number is: 201-652-8880.

IAMS & Animal Cruelty

http://www.iamscruelty.com/

IAMS is still experimenting on animals to test their products. Really? Please feel free to repost this link wherever you are.


Gary . . .

Help Me ... I Can't Break Out This Prison All Alone

Here’s how it went.

Too many restless nights left me less than refreshed in the morning. In actuality, I was tired all the time.

Sleep study one determines I have severe sleep apnea, having 180 events over six hours. That’s 30+ times an hour I stop breathing. Bad.

Sleep study two determines that my sleep apnea is so severe, they can’t set the pressure on the CPAP properly because just when they nearly have it, I wake up, unable to exhale. Bad.

I get an APAP, which automatically adjusts the air pressure to my breathing. The problem: We all sleep in cycles. Light, medium, deep. The deeper I slept, the worse my apnea became. The APAP cycled up to compensate. But when I cycled back to my light sleep, the machine was still at maximum pressure and I woke up every two hours. Adjusting the machine left me waking up every hour. I came to realize I actually felt worse in the morning with the machine than without it. Still bad.

Now you’re up to date on the events.

Sleep deprivation does funky things to a person. A few choice experiences: lack of focus, shut down imagination, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, exhaustion, nodding off at inopportune times (work, driving), loss of hope of finding a solution, frustration, loss of interest in things that once made me happy, angry more often than I have the right to be.

You know, I wanted to tell you how I feel, dig into my heart and bleed my emotions across the e-screen without sounding whiny or self-pitying, but the truth is all the anger, frustration, self-hate, pessimism, hopelessness and helplessness I was coming to conquer has returned in full force. Debbie Ford calls this side of ourselves, the dark, shadow side of our souls, the Black Wolf. The Black Wolf has no faith and has forsaken God, making itself Lord and Master and I feel small and helpless under its baleful gaze.

Days and nights I remember who I used to be before the exhaustion tore my soul to shreds, leaving me apathetic to life. Yes, I’ve fallen quite far into the pit, a familiar way of living, as it seems to’ve been what I grew up surrounded by. Maybe I’m mistaken and my view back there is tainted by what I think happened. I don’t know.

All I know is, the Unholy Ghost* comes with his Black Dog** and keeps me company day and night and I’m in spiritual pain most of the time. I know there are doors and windows out of this glass prison***, but it seems such a gargantuan effort that I don’t have the energy for. At least for right now.


Peace,
Gary . . .


*Unholy Ghost, taken from Unholy Ghost: Writers on Depression, edited by Nell Casey
**Black Dog. William Styron’s name for depression
***Glass Prison is a song that’s part of an epic storyline by Dream Theater that spans a number of the discs, relating to addiction and recovery. Here’s a link to the lyrics: http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/67220/

Looking for the "Right" Path

Ever since I decided I want to be a published author, I kept focused on the traditional path: find an agent, find a publisher, and get the book out on book store shelves. That was some years ago, before self-publishing, POD, and epublishing existed. It’s a different world out there, but I’ve still held firm to the traditional path. I’ve heard the pros and cons of the various publishing forms from self-publishing to small presses to traditional publishing and I’ve told people that as long as they do their research to find the best publishing course for them, that was fine; I was sticking with the traditional path.

Then I found this blogpost http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/ and I started wondering about the variety of publishing paths and the benefits of epublishing. Granted, Mr. Konrath has a large following from his previously traditionally published books, so that would account for some ebook sales, but still…

Now I’m going to turn this over to y’all. Where do you stand on publishing? Do you think epublishing on your own (publishing through Amazon) is the way to go? I’m not talking five or ten years down the road, but today. Is Mr. Konrath the exception or the new standard? He mentions other authors who’ve been successful who aren’t as well known as he is, so that sort of takes the “well, he’s famous” argument out of the equation, right? I understand why published authors would want to epublish their back stock and out of print books, but new books? All thoughts, opinions and comments are welcome.


Peace,
Gary . . .

It's all talk talk

The other day I read an author's blog where they stated their opinion about an unfolding news event. They were pretty clear where they stood on the issue and that brought up an interesting question. It was obvious to me that this writer felt so moved to write what she did, that it didn't matter the consequences of her actions. Would people feel any different toward her and her writing? Would they pass it off as just a rant or would they think twice the next time they went to pick up one of her books?

As writers (and the arts community in general), we're looked to as advocates of culture and spokes-folks for our society. After 9/11, the most outspoken voice was Bruce Springsteen and his disc, The Rising. When events unfold in our world, writers, authors, artists and musicians help us understand what's happening.

But where do we draw the line? How do we, as writers, express ourselves without offending people and thus losing readers? If I come out on one side of a political or religious discussion, some folks will agree with me and some won't, but is it so important for me to state my opinion that I'm willing to lose readers? I could very well ostracize myself from my fellow writers as well. Should we shy away from those topics that can turn incendiary in an instant? Or do we face the taboos and drag them out into the light, shining our own truths on them? As writers, our readers sustain us (in a financial sense) and keep us writing. Should we think of the consequences of our words before we post them for all the world to see?

My first publisher told me to start a blog and get on MySpace (remember that?) and get a website up, but don't write about any issues that could cost me readers. But some of these issues are quite complex and deserve to be discussed. Unfortunately, as I've seen with a recent news event, when people get passionate, they can get loud and when they come from the heart, they don't always think before hitting Publish or Send.

This is a problem with our electronic society. In our social isolationism, it's okay to say whatever you want because it's online and somehow, the consequences don't matter. But before I digress too far...

Conversely, in my next book, I can discuss any social issue and use my characters to come down on whatever side I choose. I can work out my own issues through my characters and call it fiction and it's all right. Of course by the time the book gets published, the issue could be history.

So where's the balance? If I tell you my political leanings, would that change whether you read my books? If I spoke out about religious issues, would you consider it inappropriate or justified because I have a right to speak? Can you separate the writer and his books from the writer and his opinions?

How do you handle discussing fiery topics on your blog or Facebook or wherever?


Peace,
Gary . . .

Every day I write the book

Okay. Maybe not every day, but a quite a few of them. Sometimes, all strung in a row.

Process. How I do what I do. All writers have them. It's the way they go about constructing stories, but also, how they conduct their writing life. I've shared mine a bit, and thought to share it here for the rest of everybody who chances by.

I write novels and an occasional short story. I have great respect for those writers who can shape an idea from beginning to end in a few pages. I have, what some might consider, literary sprawl. My stories are rarely short and I'm fine with that. So this'll be about the novel process.

Way back in '95 and '96, I wrote two novels: What's Real and Insert Title Here. Both were fiction and both started with a vague idea and a number of scenes. What's Real was a tale about a group of friends in their late 20's (no, don't think The Big Chill, thank you), who've been friends for years. When their "leader" dies, they realize he's been protecting them from the real world. Each falls apart in their own way. After the funeral, secrets come out that tear them apart and they know their lives will never be the same. Each character had their own chapter, written in first person. The second half of the book (post-funeral) was in third person omniscient.

Insert Title Here was about a guy (Rick) and his ex-girlfriend (Katarina) (both had been in a band together), stalked by a crazy fan. Katarina disappears, and her current lover, Meggan, seeks Rick out to help her find Kat. Sound familiar? It's what eventually, with a few twists and turns, turned in Forever Will You Suffer.

Both books had vague outlines, but nothing concrete. Another fiction novel (Having Love, Making Sex) had been outlined to the point where I had no interest in writing it. Maybe someday... With the other two books, I took notes as I wrote and went back and tweaked what needed tweaking to keep it all working.

I had sent queries out to agents and editors, and an editor from Berkeley (her husband worked with my wife) was interested in Insert Title Here, but she had no idea how to market the thing because it encompassed too many genres (mystery, horror, romance, mainstream, etc.). I offered to take out the UFO abduction scene if it would help (yes, there was one), but she'd already left Berkeley (feel free to insert joke about my book driving her out of the industry).

Then came 2002 and my first National Novel Writing Month challenge. 50,000 words in 30 days. No prize, just a certificate and the overwhelming joy of having a 50,000 word piece of literary chaos. From 2002 through 2008 (I started in 2009, but didn't finish (first year I didn't)), this was how I wrote novels. No plot, no characters, just a seed of an idea and a vague road map. It was like taking dictation from the characters and writing it down in story form. Some times the story meandered, but for the most part, it followed a plotline that created itself as it unfolded. It basically followed Anne Lamott's theory: Write the shitty first draft to get the whole thing down, then go back later to edit. When you have 30 days to write 50,000 words, there's not a lot of editing as you go time.

In 2008, I came up with the idea of homeless people living in a fictional town. I had finished a college course on literature (I'm in the midst of finishing the college degree I had no interest in back in the 80's) and was inspired by a Gabriel Garcia Marquez story about an angel. I started plotting the story out, but never once called it an outline. This'll happen, then this, then this, and maybe that. I revamped the "outline" when ever I came up with a better idea, like when you're driving somewhere and you know the basic route and you make a few detours because they seem much more interesting than the highway.

Scenes come to me like I'm watching a movie. I'm there, in the story with the characters. How do I feel going through the poorly lit basement that's cold and damp? What's that odd noise sound like? All these details get transferred through the main characters and their history, psychosis, their baggage, their feelings, and their thoughts, until (hopefully), the experience the reader has is as close to being with those characters as possible.

Editing is fun! Editing makes the book better, stronger, faster, and it smooths out the kinks, and the little details that can get scrambled in a 300 page manuscript (did he have brown eyes or blue? It was mid September when he walked out of his house, but two weeks before Halloween when he got to work five pages later).

I do not edit until the first draft is done. I would never get the book done if I kept going back and editing while I wrote. I have several run-throughs that look like this:
1. On the computer to clean up any glaring issues.
2. Printed out to make sure every sentence flows and there aren't any creaky sentences.
3. Smooth out any new bits just added.
Step 3 can be repeated several times over the course of the whole book or just sections that I really want to rework. To me, there's a difference between revision (small changes) and rewriting (large changes). I rpefer to revise, but if I have to rewrite, then I do.

During all this, I may bring the book to my critique group and/or my wife (first reader) for them to go through. I'd rather polish a section up before the critique group gets it. There's no point in them reading a first draft of something I know I have to change.

I write as often as life allows me. Writing everyday is a good way to work the imagination, but sometimes I can't. Yes, I get cranky when I don't write, so to keep the peace, it's better I do write every day.

So there you have it. My novel process. Grab a few maps, some friends and start walking. Who knows where we'll end up. But that's the fun of it: the exploration of a story, the discovery of where the road leads and where it ends.


Happy Writin's!
Gary . . .